And then my boob ruined my life

Hello out there, random people viewing this page by mistake. I’m assuming you got here by mistake, because this is a new blog and nobody knows it exists except me. If you came here looking for stories about weight loss, mental health issues, life, and embarrassing moments then this is your lucky day, pull up a chair and sit down. If you got here because the fat swimmer sounds like a bad porn movie, then you should probably turn around and walk away now. Or don’t, I’m open minded.

So, a little about me, I guess would be a good place to start. I’m 27, female, and ridiculously overweight. I also suffer from schizophrenia, as well as bouts of depression and anxiety. I weigh 274.4 lbs as of today, which is actually 4 lbs lighter than I was 12 days ago (go me and go exercising). I spent ages trying out different types of exercise, but I hated them all. Most ones that need excessive movement make me feel like someone is sawing off my breasts with a rusty knife, and no sports bra in the world is enough to contain that completely. And then I remembered swimming. I always loved swimming, even as a little kid, so that’s become my exercise of choice.

I was doing pretty well last week, I got up to 76 lengths in 80 minutes of swimming, and I was feeling pretty good about myself. Other than the fact my arms feel like they want to drop off all the time now from aching, things were finally going to plan. And then the incident happened…

Some misguided part of my brain thought: “Let’s dive in, that will definitely end well.” And being the idiot that I am, I listened to that part of my brain. A bit self consciously (because let’s face it, a swimsuit is not flattering for a woman the size of a small killer whale) I got out of the pool and settled myself at the deep end. One leap and a splash later, and I felt pretty accomplished. I came up for air, looking proud of myself and… hey, other people must have been impressed, because they were all looking at me. The old woman and her husband, the families, and the large crowd of kids having a swimming lesson, they were all looking at me. Staring, in fact.

And that’s when I noticed it.

My right boob had popped completely out of my swimsuit during the dive and was flopping around on show to everyone. I think when I go back, I’ll have to wear a fake moustache and speak with a bad foreign accent as a disguise.

Weekly weigh in

Weight: 274.4 lbs

Waist: 128 cm

Bust: 130 cm

Hips: 137 cm


2 thoughts on “And then my boob ruined my life

  1. 1rst Wait, did I write this? For sure almost all of it feels like me but you said you were schizophrenia not multiple personalities so I must still be me and you must still be you. Perhaps we were separated at birth?

    2nd May I recommend a waterproof fake mustache? You don’t want a repeat performance.

    Lastly congratulations. The first step is always the hardest. Trust me, been there. (I routinely wear 3 sports bras and still move a lot more than I would like)


    • Perhaps you did write it and we’re both in denial about being separate people, that would be some x-files shit right there.

      And thanks for the congratulations, I’m determined to keep going!


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